There’s a running joke on both sides of the transparency community that the standards for secrecy are so absurd that “you could easily classify a ham sandwich.” And nowhere does that dictum ring truer than in regards to the Central Intelligence Agency, which has, on multiple occasions, classified ham sandwiches.

These are those ham sandwiches, pulled from the CIA’s declassified archives.

1. The Cafeteria Ham Sandwich

2. The Diapidated (sic) Ham Sandwich

3. The Metaphorical Ham Sandwich (Technically Similized?)

4. The Uncomfortable Analogy Ham Sandwich

5. The In-Flight Ham Sandwich (With Bonus Candy Bar Catastrophe)

Still hungry? Check out our “Cooking with FOIA” series for more classified consumables.

Image by Fancy steve via Wikimedia Commons and is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0